In the summer of 2017, I was driving to the beach and suddenly found myself sweating. I mean, really sweating. So, I cranked up the A/C and was ready to crack a joke about the heat when I turned to see everyone else in the car was shivering. I thought maybe I was sick, but other than boiling, I felt fine. Then it hit me: this was my first hot flash; I was 48 at the time. I had heard about hot flashes but had no clue what one would feel like… until I did.
So, I did what any woman would do. I panicked.
I felt like my life was over. Beachside lunches and long walks along the surf would be the sentimental last act before the credits rolled – not the climactic sequence of the life I'd been working towards. I felt my age for the first time, seeing only limitations ahead and the turning point in my looks. Because you see, as a seasoned beauty executive with over 15 years of C-suite experience, I had been expected to represent the brands I worked for. So I always stayed close to a mirror to make sure every hair was in place, every line was concealed, everything appeared as it should. But that day, I knew things were about to change.
I’ll be honest; my vanity took over. I started thinking about what products could get me out of this so-called mess. But I realized, to my horror, that I was grasping at straws. Sure, there were tons of products for antiaging, but I was aging. And there was nothing on the market to help me and every other woman my age embrace that reality. During a career spent promoting beauty as youthful radiance, I'd not only neglected the millions of women who preceded me – I'd neglected my own future.
With no great resources to turn to, something had to be done. I couldn’t be the only one struggling through menopause, right? My panic turned into productivity (possibly the one upshot of menopause-induced insomnia), and I immersed myself in deep research. Did you know that there are three stages of menopause? Most women don’t, and I certainly didn’t. There’s perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause. When I was young, my mother told me what to expect when I got my period, but she never told me perimenopause could start in your late 30s-early 40s and last up to 12 years! She also didn’t tell me what would happen when menstruation stopped forever. When I told her I was starting PAUSE, she couldn’t understand why I thought people needed information and an outlet for shared experiences on this subject. I think for her, it was the attitude of her generation to keep quiet and simply endure.
Three decades after the Golden Girls (RIP Betty White), in the era of third-wave feminism and #metoo, menopause is still a taboo subject whispered in powder rooms. I finally connected the dots (that’s why our blog is called connecting the dots, and our logo is an ellipsis) that nobody in the marketplace knows how to talk about it. Nobody wants to think about it simply because – and I must be blunt here – nobody thinks there's anything in it for them.
As a woman now in my 50s, there is something in it for me. Two years after that first hot flash, PAUSE was born. Finally, a lifestyle brand focused on Well-Aging™ that informs and equips women with the tools they need to age on their terms.
I want women to feel empowered, beautiful, and capable of thriving during this time that might feel scary, confusing, and even a little crazy for a lot of us. I want to demystify and take the fear out of this inevitable experience. I’m looking to start the conversation in an unapologetic, sophisticated, and powerful way and eliminate the words anti-aging, mature, or advanced age from it. Instead, we are redefining what aging looks like with science-backed products, education, practical advice, and stories from everyday women who boldly embrace aging.
This truly can be the best time in our lives…our passage to power when we have the most freedoms, are the wisest we’ve been, and just don’t give a crap what other people think about us. So I offer PAUSE Well-Aging™ as a nod to the badass women before and after us who defy the norm.
For me, that drive to the beach was a Pause in more ways than one. First, it made me think about what I had been doing. But more importantly, it made me think about where I needed to go and what I needed to do to help women like me age well and on their terms.
💗 Rochelle